Steady Roots in an Unstable World

Internal harmony exists as we hold space for the different parts of ourselves; the parts that need safety, the parts that need certainty, and even the parts we struggle to accept. But how do we find that alignment when the world keeps pulling those parts in opposite directions? When the instinctive part of us wants to retreat into safe ignorance, while the humanitarian in us insists we stay open to the world's suffering? 

The algorithm does a great job at capturing this internal dilemma and visualizing it in front of our own eyes. One post holds a luxurious dinner, the one after is a funny reel; only to be followed by an image of human or natural-made destruction. And I often wonder whether humans were made to withstand this speeding sonic of emotional fluctuations. Surely, we must carry on somehow. 

And, so, let’s have the unspoken conversation of continuity in this global uncertainty. Perhaps, it can offer some of the steadiness we’re all searching for.

Uncertainty is a Heavy Weight

One of the biggest illusions of modern-day media involves the belief that we have all the knowledge at the tip of our fingers. In reality, what we have is a digital encyclopedia of analysis and probabilities that most people don’t know what to do with. So, as we track economical indicators of potential wars, or dive deep into environmental trends, what we’re left with is one thing: more uncertainty. What’s going to happen? What should I do? What can I do?

And that uncertainty is uncomfortable, triggering and specifically what makes this global crisis so psychologically dysregulating. A recent article published in JMIR Mental Health noted that inability to tolerate uncertainty can push individuals to seek a sense of control through more media consumption. However, what’s left is a feedback loop of media exposure, and subsequent worry about the future. Even experimentally, research highlights the impact of uncertainty compared to known negative outcomes. For example, participants awaiting painful electric shocks reported greater anxiety when they did not know whether or when the shock would occur than when they knew with certainty that it was coming and exactly when it would happen. 

In other words, we may argue against ourselves, searching for some kind of cosmic logic, only to sit still and unanswered. Because what is grief if not colored by the hues of denial and rejection. And this form of distress is normal, expected and welcomed. It’s how we respond to it that makes a difference. 

Hope is an Intentional Behavior

It’s always been difficult to talk about hope without accidentally slipping into shallow optimism. When clients arrive at our sessions, some have lost opportunities, homes and even their dreams. Some come carrying simmering anger or unspoken shame at the internal urge to simply shut-down. 

Psychological theory validates this struggle and calls for a different angle in fostering hope. Rather than focusing on a particular feeling, Snyder defined hope as a cognitive and motivational state of being, allowing space for grief, distress and sadness even in the intentional effort to move forwards in life. According to his definition, hope consists of three interconnected elements. These refer to having meaningful goals, identifying workable pathways towards those goals and sustaining the sense of agency or motivation needed to pursue them.

In more practical steps, here are some examples of hope can be cultivated:

Creating room for the pain. Affect labeling is a common practice in emotional intelligence coaching. Particularly relevant in our context, research shows that naming our emotions and acknowledging their existence works on a neurological level to regulate our nervous system through our amygdala. So, name your grief, embrace your tears and sit with your fear without rushing to fix it. We’re here to hold those feelings with you.

Accepting that we can’t change everything. Despite the urge to save everyone, we may sometimes fall short in our capacity to do so. This form of acceptance can be difficult, reminding us of our limits as humans. At the same time, acknowledging these limits, and still remaining persistent in the ways we choose to care, advocate and act can also be a form of sustainable resistance. 

Finding our own meaning. Research has systematically shown that re-writing your own narrative, and finding a meaning that resonates with you, has the power to shift distress into post-traumatic growth. This extends beyond the idea that “everything happens for a reason,” and instead allows you the space to actively distinguish your own identity, strengths and values within the environment you’re living in. 

Connect with others. There's no limit to how much we can accept and show solidarity with others. Compassion, the act of caring for someone within our reach, engages affiliative neural circuits tied to connection and belonging, sustaining our capacity to keep showing up rather than depleting it. We may not be able to change the world's concrete circumstances, but we can offer a connection through belonging, inclusion and validation. Simply being present for someone is enough to counter some of the world’s pain. At the same time, engaging in prosocial behavior significantly reduces the impact of daily stressors. 

Shifting Ground

The world has always been shifting. In fact, change has been the only predictable thing in this universe. Yet, we can still choose to root ourselves in who we love, the values we refuse to abandon and the meaning we create for every moment. Grief will still be grief, and carrying that without losing ourselves is what we can do.